Its been four months since my last trip to the movie theater and my return was not what I expected it to be. The price of admission and popcorn quickly reminded me why I don't go as often. The movie of choice, which was not my choice, was G.I Joe: Rise of the Cobra.
Let me start by saying when I watch a movie, specially action, thriller, adventure... I'm pretty much attentive. And just for the record... I'm a movie buff. I pretty much like, love or have a found respect for every movie out there. But... this movie... this G.I. Joe movie... was... how can I put this in a nice way... TRASH! Do you know I sat in the movie theater, the Riverview in South Philadelphia, right next to Penns Landing, texting, talking to my friends and listening to some man sitting behind me snore like he was in the comfort of his own home. Gosh! What do are these people thinking? They tried to make it for today's audience and FAILED! Big Time!
Now that I got that out of my system... let me explain. The opening scene started off slow and barley had my attention. It was a bad combination of the the Matrix, I-Robert, and Vantage Point (which were all good movies) but mixed together it's horrible. It's a common tail of good vs. evil: jealous and hate brings bad blood and love brings everything full circle. Yeah, there was action but not the type of action that has you excited, sitting on the edge of seat and hitting the person next to you saying "Did you see that????".
There was a plot, within a plot, within a plot, within a plot. McCullen turns out to be just like his late uncle, grandfather (however they were related), an arms dealer. Ana works for him, while using her current husband to get what she wants. While Duke was engaged to Ana until he "let" her brother, Rex, get killed in the war. But Rex doesn't really die (haha, what a twist, please). He's gets burned and end up working with this mad scientist guy. Along while turning his sister, Ana, evil and getting her to work with McCullen. It's all bullshit! I give this movie: two thumbs down!
The only good thing about this movie is that it had a lot of good actors: Dennis Quad, Said Taghmaoui, Marlon Waynes (who carried the movie with his comedy) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, just to name a few.
All pass cartoon shows and comic books are not meant to be shown on the big screen. Iron Man: worked, The X-Men: worked, Batman (all seven of them): worked, especially the Dark Knight, Scooby-Doo: I'm still trying to figure that one out.
The point is... if you want to bring your childhood memories back to life for the current generation to enjoy and be apart of... present it to them right. Don't half ass it, because then you'll be hoping to make up your earning in DVD revenues.
